Hi im here after so long again cause this seems like the most peaceful place for me to rant and let my thought out in peace with no mutual that know me here.
I think this will be full english cause im in the mood for it and im getting comfortable with english for things like this.
So let me start...
I wonder how other people see future and picture themselves in the future like what you want to be, what you want to achieve, are you ready for it cause for me its on a whole different story.
I...dont picture myself in the future, i cant imagine the future at all let alone be ready for it. I dont have a dream, dont have occupation that i love heck dont even have any idea of how the world works and the job there is out there. I just living the life that is there.
I am 24 now and about 2 weeks from now im gonna works fulltime. Working after 3 years studying. Seems like a normal life except the course that im studying is nothing near my interest and my skills is far off from ready to work in this occupation. I am lost inside myself dont know what to do, what to expect and what to prepare.
To be honest i dont even picture myself getting this far. I expect i would be dead by now (to be exact when im 20) or the world would collapse or destroyed or apocalypsed like the kids in my generation getting feared off by the media.
Im ready for this world to end. Im ready to be dead but surprise, im living, i bout to be working, im healthy, im about to leave my hometown, im about to start my own life! Maybe in the next few years i would find a girl to marry and have a family and have a kid! Thats something the young me would never expect let alone think. He would freak out if he meet me now. And that is life, its nothing that you can expect, nothing you can imagine. But i just hope i can found the drive(?), Someting that can pulls me together, makes me realize the world im about to face, makes me looks forward, stop thinking about the past and be ready to take a step forward. Whatever it is i need it. I cant keep living like this but i also cant change to live like i should, i cant pull myself to do the thing i hate. Im far from ready for this. Im not ready living this far, im scared, im lost, i dont know what to do.
Life, please be nice to me, give me the strength to go forward and not looking back.
At least this writing clear off the unspoken things in my head. Thats why i love blog. Its like my secret diary where i can rant whatever i want here. People may be reading this but they wont know who i am so i'm safe haha. Its amazing how an online platform where anyone could see this being the place i let my thought out and none of my mutuals knows it. Its far better than twitter. I used to rant a lot on twitter but day by day my mutual increased so im kinda getting uneasy and stuck i guess. I glad i remember there still a blog. And im relieved now that my thought getting cleared out again. I might take some time off from blog after this (if things going well haha) so byee
I hope my life is going well after this haha.
